Van Mommy on the Run....in HEELS!: Defintiley a HIP Mommy and not a HIPPY Mom!

If you know me you know I have freaking FABULOUS ideas that tend to go over the top and take thorough planning (if you attended my daughter's Poodle 1st Bday Party or my son's Tiger First Bday Party then you've seen my creativity in action). The latest great idea went something like this:

I Love the Farmer's Market
I love to run
I should run to the Farmer's Market!!!

In Mathematics Geometry Proofs were my strength (it is also the class that I met husband in--and the class taught by the BEST math teacher ever--Mr. Matsunaga!). If this and that then this....Anyway, the above reasoning made perfect sense! Planning went something like this:

One way trip: 2.5 miles
Opens at 8
Running 2 miles: 25 minutes tops
Leave house at 7:30 am

Preparing went something like this:

Practice walking to MHS with Fanny Pack and water bottle--water bottle too irritating don't take
5 mile run--easy, can do!

So it seemed like I thought everything out and it would be all GOOD. I woke up this morning with a start at 7am without my alarm clock and decided it was a sign. Today's the day that I go totally green. Kanu would be soooo damn proud of me!! I dressed in my workout clothes, put on my eyes (eyebrows, eyeliner, mascara--after all I still AM a rockin' van mommy!!), some mineral foundation and packed my Envirosax bag, cell phone, ID (in case I died and they needed to know who I was), Bank Card (you just never know) laced up my shoes and ran outta the house.

I had just run 5 miles a little over 18 hours ago on basically the same route so I didn't anticipate any problems. That's where I was wrong. The morning was particularly humid and the air ripe with Vog. 1.5 miles into my run I was drenched with sweat and a little winded. Realization of what a stupid idea this was began screaming in my head. If I turned around now it would take 20 minutes to get home...then I could jump in the van....ugh. Too much time!!!

Somehow I made it to the Farmer's Market at Peak Time. Lots of cars pulling into the Parking Lot. I was sweating hard, feeling a little dizzy but relieved to have made it (note to self, either drink and eat something before leaving or carry the damn water bottle). I pulled out my list and headed to the Bale and Nalo Farms Tents. There was a lot of great produce out there but I reminded myself that I was walking my ass home with whatever I decided to buy so I had to be smart. As I walked I kept my eyes to the ground praying that I wouldn't see anyone that I knew. I didn't want to scare them with my stinky sweat and I had no clue whether my make up was leaving black streaks down my face (note to self--pack a mirror and powder next time?!!). UGH! Someone I know! Look away, look away!!!!! I quickly picked up some Cilantro, Grape Tomatoes, Limes, Pickled Veggies, and 2 bags of Baguettes. I packed my Envirosax with my goodies carefully so that nothing would get smooshed and headed to my next destination. Next destination? Burger King of course. After every other Farmer's Market spree I'd jump into the van and head to the drive through. Today I'd be walking another quarter mile and visiting the inside.

*******

So, here I am...Envirosax filled with veggies, Iced Coffee in one hand standing outside of BK realizing that it's a far walk home. I kinda want to cry. I could call someone to pick me up (they'd be PISSED), I could run home (dumb), or I could do what I set out to do....ok. But wait. I just drank a free cup of water and am drinking an Iced Coffee. What if I have to use the bathroom on the long trek home?!!! ugh. Didn't plan for all these wrinkles. I'd better drink slow and walk as fast as I damn can.

*******

And so I make it home in one piece. Pedometer shows 11,700 steps, scale reads a pound less. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe I can do it again. Maybe next time I take a kid in the jogging stroller. Maybe I can do this "green" thing. Maybe I can start walking to work.

And then I look at my goods and realize that there's only THREE baguettes in each bag and not FOUR like last month. Six baguettes just not enough for tonight's Family Dinner. Cursing. I am damn well eating bread tonight. Maybe hubby doesn't need bread? More cursing. NEED. MORE. BREAD. $%#@!^!!!!! Hell, not walking back up there. Some more cursing.

It doesn't pay to go green. I am not ready for yoga. I will not start composting. A little Louis Vuitton is good for me. Where are those damn Van car keys?!!!!!

Van mommy is outta here--going to buy more damn bread AND a Costco size bag of razors!!!!