Recently, a couple of people have pointed out to me that I am extremely competitive. Now this is something that I knew but I didn't realize that it was so blatantly a part of who I am. I know that I am pretty intense but I have never thought to think about what it means to the people that surround me or how it affects my relationships with others or how it shapes my relationships with them. And that got me to thinking about Mike. Mike too is highly competitive. He's not as showy or arrogant as I can be (well, that's because he's not as decorated an athlete as I [sorta joking]) but he doesn't like to lose. One day we were at the field talking about our kids and he told me, "Wow, Dannika doesn't like to lose." And I looked at him and said, "Well, neither does her parents." At last week's soccer game Noah had a fit and when I got him to calm down he admitted that he wasn't to happy about losing his first game ever. So, while we have a lot to work on with our kids let it suffice to say that the will to win runs strong through the Pila and the Padilla blood.
But back to Mike. My husband is a very unique man. He does not like to lose but he can lose gracefully to me. I mean, he has had quite a bit of practice losing to me. Just kidding. What I am trying to say is that although a jock and a typical male he totally supports me in all my athletic endeavors even if it means losing to me.
Let me tell you about our first race together it was he 2011 Great Aloha Run and it was also Mike's first road race ever. . Mike was convinced that we should cross the finish line holding hands. We ran the entire 8 miles together and as we entered the Aloha Stadium I decided to scare him a bit (and beat him) and started sprinting toward the finish. After I looked back and saw his shocked face I stopped and laughed, feeling a little bad. At that exact point he sprinted to the finish line and beat me by one second. It's captured on film and from that moment on, there have been bragging rights at each race. I vowed to never lose again.
Fast forward to the Honolulu Marathon 2013. Mike injured himself racing against high school students (because he sure as hell wasn't going to lose) and had to quit training 2 months prior to the marathon. We had vowed to run together and up to that point he was able to keep up with my pace. He was still hoping to get that finishing shot together, especially for this, our one and only marathon. Going into the marathon I wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand we had planned to run together, on the 2nd hand I had trained hard for the race and was on track to reach my goal time. At the marathon we ended up running together for the first 13 miles and when we neared the turn around he told me to go get my time and gave me his blessing. Sure, some wives would have stood by their man but our relationship is unique and I took off running. After I finished my race in my goal time I went back up to look for him and helped him finish the race injured. There was no resentment, just an incredible pride that we had for one another. Me, for getting my time, and him, for showing so much courage,
I think this glimpse into who he is tells you a lot about him and a lot about us. He is a proud man but supports his wife 100%. And yet, there is more to "us" than that. We compete in a lot of sports. He kills me at golf and tennis when he can use his brute strength to over power me and when we step on the court or the course we are always equals. He will never "let me win" nor will we ever give each other gimmes. In fact it's kinda funny to watch us play tennis. Big athletic gorilla against petite girl in a dress. Anyone watching would probably frown at the man he hits the ball 100 mph at his wife. But the truth is, is that he's 1) not scared to hit the ball at me as hard as he can, 2) knows that I am fast enough to get outta the way, and 3) knows that if he hits me I will pick up the racket and hit him over the head with it. How many men-women relationships can be that equal on the athletic front? Ok, there are a few but they are few and far between.
My point is, is that in Mike I have found the equal that I have always looked for to match the competitiveness that is inside me. We can compete together and against one another and have no guilt taking one another down. It is a very special bond to know that whenever we go out running I am going to push him past his limit and he's going to kill himself to keep up. We have this little thing, before we go out to run together he asks me how much we're going to run and I'll tell him 2. But then we go out and I run up hills really fast to run away from him and end up running 6 miles. In my head I am laughing because he's dying and I know in his head he's saying, "Bitch please, I can keep up." It's a sick and twisted game we play but it keeps us both alive.
So, on this day that Mike turns 42, I would like to thank him for seeing me as his equal, always pushing me to improve, matching my drive to win, and for being that one person that I can compete against and with. Happy Birthday and let's see who gets to that finish line first come December 8, 2013.
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