It's Saturday Night and my Van is parked and I'm Throwing a Pity Party.

Friday and Saturday Nights on Facebook are bad for van mommies like me.  All the young kids are posting about going to the movies, eating out, listening to live music and checking in at different fun places one after the other.  In their uploaded pictures they look gorgeous and happy.  None of them has stress wrinkles or frowns.  None look like they are about to lose it.  It makes a van mommy a little depressed.  Feel a little trapped.  Kind of envious of all the kids who are dressed up and living dangerously without a care in the world.  No worrying about the kids at home or no worrying about whether the kids they dared bring are going to behave.

Being a mommy is very rewarding.  At my daughter's soccer game today she asked me for a good luck kiss before the game started.  There's nothing that defines love more than that.  And I don't regret being a mom. Because although it is the single hardest job I've ever signed up for, it is also the most fulfilling.  Nevertheless, there are times, like tonight when I miss the carefree days of going out without having to be vigilant, on surveillance, or on edge.  Having to make sure the kids eat, don't bother others, don't run away, get lost, or get hurt is a taxing job.  Add into the mix a clueless hubby and you got yourself the recipe for mommy meltdown.  Goes something like this....

One kid crying for mommy, other kid crying for mommy, kids fighting over mommy.  People starting to stare.  Mommy getting frustrated.  Daddy sitting there.  Mommy yelling at kids.  Mommy yelling at kids.  Mommy yelling at Daddy.   Pandemonium.  It's only 7:30pm and we're on our way home because mommy has lost it.  Throw everyone in the van and head home.

People keep telling me that it will get better and I'm eagerly anticipating that day.  Until then I collect pretty dresses to wear to go out, live vicariously through the young kids' posts, and contemplate deleting everyone who doesn't have outta control kids or has a life off of my Friends' List.

Van mommy out...gonna throw myself a pity party.