Oh the four-oh!

It's official, I am forty.  I honestly cannot believe that I have been on this planet for forty years. I really don't feel THAT old and if you know me, you know that I tend to act much younger than my age.  Some might say immature, I prefer to call it fun-loving.  But really, how can I possibly be 40?!!  I can still recall riding my yellow butterfly banana seat bicycle around Mililani with the Delos Santos twins, Kerri and Stacey.  We'd spend hours on the road far away from home without cell phones, without telling our parents where we were gonna be.  No helmets, no water, no IDs.  Just us, our bikes, the road, and adventures to be had.  Those days don't seem more than 30 years ago at all.  I can see the images vividly and clearly as if it just happened yesterday.

And those are just some of the memories from the early days.  I can remember each soccer and bobby sox team without any problems.  Our first mini sox team was the color orange, our name was Imua and we were undefeated!  I hit my first home run in the last game.  I remember my first soccer team, the color was red, we were the Gazelles, also undefeated.  So many great times growing up in Millani, going to Mililani Uka, playing bobby sox and softball, AYSO and HYSA spending weekends getting burnt to a crisp at Alii Beach park.  Boogie Boarding with the other soccer players, drinking sips of our mom's B&J wine coolers.  Driving home late at night with the cane fields burning on either side as we travelled back home to Mililani.

And who can forget the soccer trips.  The first one to Colorado with Sugartime when Mouse dove into the jacuzzi and scraped her face up or the one to Los Angeles where we did countless fundraisers and stayed with host families. Back then we'd spend hours at the soccer field.  No sun screen, no internet, no video games, no homework to worry about.  Just a bunch of girls cruising at the field from dawn to dusk enjoying one another's company.

And then things changed and I was off to Iolani.  It was a different world and not the easiest of transitions but somehow I made friendships that have stood the test of time.  Not an easy task with the hormones of puberty, the separation of college, the kids and marriages but we still try to find the time to see one another.  We're bonded by some of our crazier moments together.  The Fuschia days as Freshmen, sleep overs, dances, great prom dates, not-so-great prom dates, dressing up, stressing.  Highschool...what crazy years.

Surprisingly, although I spent 4 years in college in a drunken haze I can remember with clarity every shenanigan that was pulled.  Baxter Hall 4th floor days, Alpha Chi Omega years, and 6 months spent in Oviedo Spain.  The stories are classic, if told on the internet the names would have to be changed to protect the GUILTY.  Too many times where we were soo bad we were good, times we were soo bad we were plain old DUMB, and times when we were bad and we got CAUGHT!  The only regret that I have about college is that I finished on time and graduated in 4 years.  It would have been soo much fun to have one more year living in Alpha Chi with the Faves and graduating with my Pledge Class.

After undergraduate I actually settled down quite a bit.  Got my Professional Diploma, got a job, bought a car.  I did all the things that I was supposed to do and then even got my Master's Degree.  But the twenties and thirties had some rough spots.  I had to learn to be strong, to fight for what's right, to stand up for myself, and to take the punches.  I learned to trust my decisions and stick to my guns no matter what anyone said.  I can say that in my 20s and 30s I found my voice, learned who I was and what I believed in and learned not to take shit from anyone.  Some might say I am cocky, maybe brash, and probably a whole lot of other words that are not so nice but they'd also have to admit that I am passionate in what I believe in and I am loyal to the friends who have been loyal to me.

So here I find myself at 40.  I've pretty much done everything that I have wanted to do.  I have travelled, got my education, started a family, have a career.  I've recently became in tune with my body and I have a close circle of friends that I can depend on.  There are things that irritate me, things that I want and yearn for, things that I would love to do over.  But I don't have any regrets.  Every success and failure has shaped me into the woman I am today.  Aside from losing people that I love not much scares me.  I am secure in who I am and if there's something I want I will work hard until I get it.

So, 40...do I fear you?  Do I dread you?  Am I sorry to be so damn old?  Maybe a little.  But I know that I am much better today than I ever was at 20 or 30.  And for that I am thankful for forty.